Oceans Between You and Me
by TokiDokiIchinose
Summary: Every day, Yuuri drowns further into the waters of his own despair. The war has called upon the only one he's ever loved, separating them for longer than he can handle. There's only so much one can take before they crack. Songfic based off of Oceans by Seafret.


Yuuri sighs for what feels like the hundredth time that day.

"When is he supposed to come back?"

Yuuri places his hands down on the table and looks up at his friend, faking as bright a smile as he possibly can. "In the letter he sent, it seemed like that would be next month. I'm happy they finally have a time they'll be coming back. Lee was assigned a different field, right?"

Phichit glances at him from across the tall bar table they're sitting out and leans toward Yuuri. "I don't get how you're this relaxed over this. I'm _dying._ Seung-gil's been gone _forever!_ I thought you'd be a lot worse without-"

Yuuri keeps the smile on his face despite how much it hurts him on the inside. "It's what he wanted. Of course I'm fine with it. If he's happy, then I am, too."

"Are you sure?" Phichit raises an eyebrow at his friend, knowing all too well that he has to be lying. "Yuuri, if you ever need-"

"Phi, I told you I'm fine." Yuuri shakes his head with that same smile. "It's only one more month, right? He's been gone for two years. If I've been fine for this long, then there's no reason for that to change now." How awful was he to lie to his one true friend?

"But Yuuri-"

"Oh, I should probably get going. I didn't realize how late it was. I still have a lot to get done today." Yuuri checks his watch for the time and stands up from the stool, grabbing his bag in preparation to leave.

"Okay... hey, Yuuri?"

"Hm?" Yuuri looks up to catch a pained expression on Phichit's face.

"Well... nevermind. See you tomorrow?"

Yuuri nods and waves goodbye to his friend, heading out the door of the bar.

It's the same conversation every single day. At the end of each day, Yuuri meets Phichit at the bar. They talk about their days and work and then talk about the war. Phichit is always in distress over Seung-gil being gone. Yuuri on the other hand never complains. Not since the day he waved Viktor goodbye from the train platform as he left his side two years ago. Phichit knows how close they were. How happy Yuuri was every second of every day. Now, he visits his friend every day and fakes that same happiness before.

It's not the same, though. Yuuri knows that Phichit understands as well. He's not stupid. Yet he lets it happen. Phichit tries to get him to crack, like he knows Yuuri does when he's alone, but Yuuri's stubborn. He refuses to let Phichit worry about him. He has enough on his plate anyway. They all do.

So Yuuri walks back to his house alone. January is a lot colder all of a sudden. The city is quiet, lonely. Sighing, he walks up to the door and turns the key in the look. As he's hanging up his jacket, Makkachin - the dog Viktor insisted that they adopt together - comes padding up to him, whimpering. Yuuri knows that Makkachin understands how he feels. They both miss Viktor terribly. Yuuri kneels down and pets him before making his way to the kitchen to grab the pup some food. It doesn't take him long to fill his bowl and head to the study in the house. He shuts the door behind him and sits down staring at the letter he received yesterday from Viktor.

 _Dearest Yuuri,_

 _There is so much I wish to say to you, but there is only so much I can do. I miss you so much. I pray to see you every day. Say hi to Makka for me as well. I hope she's keeping good company in my absence._

 _I can't tell you that everything is fine, but I can promise you a better future. There is no news yet as to when we will return. They told us we could leave a month ago, but... you remember my last letter I hope. I am so sorry. I miss you more than anything in the world, but there's nothing I can do._

 _I still have the photo in my chest pocket. When it's not there, then it's under my pillow at night. I have dreams of us together again. All the time. It's so very painful._

 _All I want is you, but I'm oceans away._

 _This may be selfish, but please keep waiting for me._

 _One day my love... Once more..._

 _Your Vitya_

He's crying again. Of course he is. He's read the letter over and over again, but it still kills him. It makes the gap in his heart wider and deeper. The pain has gotten worse lately, but there's no one to turn to. Phichit is dealing with this as well. He couldn't possibly make it more difficult for his friend.

Makkachin whines from behind the door, but Yuuri can't make himself get up. Looking at Makkachin makes him even more upset. He remembers going to the pet shop with Viktor, bright smiles on both of their faces. Going through the shop... finding a tiny toy poodle... filling out the paperwork together... finally bringing her home.

He remembers everything all the time. There's not one thing he does that doesn't remind him of Viktor.

He's not sure when it happens, but he cries himself to sleep at one point. Slipping into an easy slumber...

.

. . .

.

"The map says to drive this way, but... Hmm..." Yuuri stares intently at the different streets, trying to figure out where exactly he's going. He should probably stop and asking for direction, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't terrified of being in an all new city. Everything is foreign to him. It wasn't entirely his decision either. He read that there were better job opportunities and with his families close to failing business, he knew he had to pursue them.

"Maybe this is it...?" Yuuri slows the car down and pulls over, staring back and forth between the building to his right and the map and directions he was given. "Maybe not though..." He buries his face in the directions.

"Is there something I can do for you?"

Startled, Yuuri jumps in his seat and looks up to find a rather handsome man - maybe around his age? Possibly older? - with platinum locks gelled back and bright blue eyes that stared back into his own brown ones.

The figure starts laughing. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you like that. I'm pretty familiarized with the city if you need any assistance."

Yuuri can't help but stare, and only realizes after a moment of silence that that's all he's been doing. Embarrassed, he quickly looks down at the map, stuttering over his words and fidgeting with his glasses. "I.. uh... I m-might need some help... Just a little!" He squeezes his eyes shut before slowly opening to stare at the stranger after another moment of silence.

"I'd be delighted! Where are you looking to go?"

"Umm... I don't know how to pronounce it." Yuuri laughs nervously and cranks the window down, hoping to just give the kind stranger the direction he was given.

Only the stranger opens the passenger door to his car and sits down, taking the paper from Yuuri's hands. "Ah! We're not too far from where you need to be. I can lead you there." He's smiling at Yuuri without a care in the world.

Yuuri's back to staring at him dumbfoundedly. "Ok." It takes a little bit before his eyes are back on the road, trying to focus. If he's being honest, it's really hard to do that. The perfect stranger is just _sitting_ in his car and giving him directions. What a way to spend a Sunday.

"Aaand here you are! You can pull over in front. They only let residents do that."

"Right... thank you." Yuuri parks the car and watches as the stranger gives back the directions from before and hops out of the car.

Yuuri follows suit after taking the keys out of the ignition.

"Do you need help moving in?"

Yuuri frantically waves his arms as he shakes his head. "No! I couldn't ask any more of you. You've already done more than you needed to. I really only have two bags anyway. I'll be fine."

The stranger laughs. "If you say so. Looks like I'll be leaving you here then." He signals Yuuri goodbye and begins walking down the sidewalk back the way they came.

"Wait!" Yuuri reaches a hand out in his direction. "What's your name?"

The stranger stops and turns around to face Yuuri. "I'm Viktor! It was nice to meet you!" The stranger turns back around and begins walking once more.

.

. . .

.

Yuuri wakes up with a start, tears streaming down his face once more. Checking the clock that's sitting next to where his head was on the desk, he realizes it's only two in the morning. He can tell that he has a long day ahead of himself.

Deciding that going to his bedroom - _their_ bedroom, he silently corrects himself - and trying to get real sleep, Yuuri makes his way there. It's after a minute of fumbling around in the dark and trying to remember where everything is does he get to where he wants to be. He makes his way over to the bed and lies down on the side that _he_ used to occupy, per the usual.

The longer he lies there, the more awake he feels. Instead of continuing to do so, he gets up and turns on the lamp beside the bed. Padding his way over to the closet, he opens it and kneels to the ground where a box sits. Pulling the box out, he opens the lid and carefully sets it off to the side. Inside the box is every photo they've ever taken together and every letter he has gotten over the past two years. The letters still come as frequently as they did all that time ago.

Sighing he picks up a bunch of the photos and begins flipping through them. He laughs at the ones of them being ridiculous and smiles gently at the fond ones. It's only until he picks up the photo of Viktor in his military uniform does he finally decide to go back to sleep.

So he does. This time, it doesn't take long for him to crash, and for the first time in forever, he has a dreamless slumber.

.

. . .

.

It's been two months since the last letter from Viktor arrived. He's been silent since, which has kept Yuuri up almost every night. No letters means something horrible must've happened. Not that he can be so sure, since it could just mean he's busy. Viktor is, after all, one of the top commanders. He's always in the line of fire as well, though, which terrifies Yuuri.

"Yuuri, it'll be okay. He's been gone for two years. He's made it this far, I doubt he'd mess up now. I hear the war is almost at an end. Isn't that great? Maybe Viktor's just really busy because of that."

He can hear every word Phichit says, but that doesn't mean any of it is actually processing. Yuuri's sleep-deprived mind is all over the place. So many things could've happened. Viktor wouldn't just stop... right? Oh... what if Viktor is tired of writing to him? Maybe that's it...

"Yuuri! He doesn't hate you! There's no way! Why would you think that?"

Oh. He said it out loud. "I'm sorry, Phichit. I think I have to leave. I'm not really up for this today. I'm glad Seung-gil is home, though. Tell him I said hello." Yuuri grabs his bag and practically runs out of the bar.

He can't handle it. Every day, one by one, a soldier from war has returned. Everyone he knows has their loved one back. A few groups of the military were sent home finally but not all. Meaning that Viktor is stuck fighting out there. He's out there fighting for everyone while everyone's out here relaxing finally, and it makes him sick. He understands that they should be happy. He understands that if it was himself, he too would be happy.

But because it isn't, Yuuri is bitter and upset and angry and sad... He doesn't know what to do. He's tired of sleeping and crying and working all the time. When will it finally be his time? When will his loved one return to him?

It doesn't seem possible anymore.

Wiping away the tears that threaten to spill over, he walks up the stairs to his house and goes to put the key in the lock. Only the key refuses to move in the lock. Confused, Yuuri pulls it and tries the doorknob. For whatever reason, it's unlocked, which could mean two things. Either someone has broken into his house, or he forgot to lock the door. The last one is the most plausible, and also the most terrifying. His neighborhood isn't exactly the kindness. Sighing, he opens the door and settles his bag along the wall as he shuts the door behind himself. Only when he puts his coat on the hook by the door does he realize something feels off.

Makkachin hasn't greeted him. Panicking, Yuuri frantically looks around and tries to hear for the pup, getting nothing in response. "Makka? Makka, where are you?" Yuuri begins tiptoeing into the house, trying to calm his beating heart.

 _Something's wrong, something's wrong, something's wrong..._

Nothing in the study or the dining room. "Makka?" No response.

Yuuri heads for the living room. It's the last room on this floor, and then he'll have to check upstairs. He'll hate himself if Makkachin ran outside. All he can do is pray that she's still somewhere in the house napping. _Please_ let her be napping.

"Makkachin? Girl, where are you? I'm back." Yuuri walks into the living room and searches the floor until his eyes lay on the armchair in the corner of the room.

"Welcome home."

Sitting there in the chair with Makkachin at his feet is the very person Yuuri never thought he'd see again. Yuuri's eyes widen, tears already streaming down his face as he stands there.

"I missed you, Yuuri." Viktor smiles at him, tears running down his cheeks. As soon as he stands up and takes one step towards the other, Yuuri breaks into a run and flings himself at Viktor.

They say nothing else, instead crying in each others arms.

 _He's here. He's really here._ It feels like a dream, like the one he's always wanted to come true. He wraps his arms as tight as possible around Viktor, holding onto the mirage he's possibly created for himself.

Viktor's arms are wrapped around Yuuri just as tightly as his are to the Russian's. His grip is much tighter from the hardness of war. He's still in his uniform as well, one that has been decorated with so many more badges and pins than when he first left. His sleek platinum hair is a bit dirtier now as well as longer, but it is still a very noticeable feature. His eyes are still the same soft blue from two years ago. They hold the same love Yuuri had come to know.

"I didn't think you were coming back," Yuuri cries into Viktor's shoulder.

"Shhh, my Yuuri. I'm here. I'm finally here. My love..." Viktor continues whispering soft words into Yuuri's ears, and he still can't believe it's happening.

"You have no idea..."

"Yuuri... love. I'm so sorry."

Yuuri shakes his head from where it's pressing into his shoulders. "Don't be. I missed you so much, Vitya. I love you so much."

They stand there in that same position for a long period of time. Yuuri loses track. Viktor settles them both into the chair he was sitting in before with Yuuri on his lap, and they continue to whisper hushed words of affection.

After awhile longer, Yuuri finally looks up at Viktor and presses a palm to his cheek. "You're alive."

Viktor leans into his hand. "I told you I would be."

"You stopped writing. I got nervous."

"Oh, love..." Viktor frowns and turns his head to press a kiss into Yuuri's palm. "I'm so sorry. I didn't have time to send it." Viktor reaches a hand into his decorated military jacket and pulls out a worn down piece of paper. "We kept moving, and it became impossible to do so. I hope you'll forgive me."

Yuuri removes his palm from Viktor's face and takes the envelope into his own hands. He stares at the browned paper before looking back up at Viktor. "I love you so much. I got so nervous. Phichit kept trying to tell me you were alright, but I-I didn't know, so-"

Viktor presses a hand to the back of Yuuri's neck and brings him closer, touching his lips against the other's. After a moment, they pull away. Yuuri has stopped crying, but there are so many different emotions welling up inside him.

"Yuuri, my love, I'm so sorry. I never meant to make you so upset. It makes me sad to see you in such as state. Please forgive me. I want you and always will. I missed you so much when I was gone. I kept a photo of you with me at all times. I prayed every day that you would wake up healthy and alright. I prayed that I would get to see your face once more. All my wishes have been granted. I don't deserve them, but I've gotten them."

"Vitya... I love you, too. I've never loved anyone else and never will. Thank you for coming back." Yuuri hugs him again, and stays like that.

Yuuri falls asleep on his lap hugging him, and Viktor carefully brings him into his arms, walking towards the bedroom they used to share. He lays Yuuri down under the blankets and smiles as Yuuri curls up in his direction. Gently, he brushes the bangs out of Yuuri's eyes and leans down to press a kiss to his forehead.

He knows he won't be able to sleep, so instead he rummages through the drawers and pulls out comfortable clothing to slip into. He throws his military uniform into the corner of the room and sleeps under the blankets next to Yuuri and wraps him into his arms once more. He doesn't sleep at all. Instead Viktor just sits there and embraces the gentle warmth at his side once more.

He couldn't be happier than he is now. He's lost so much in the past few years, and he's grateful to be back with his lover once more.

 _I'm home, Yuuri._

 _And here I will stay. With you, forever._


End file.
